Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wicklow, Ireland
Posts: 6,178
Rep Power: 10
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Not sure why it wouldn't let you post. Here's Jewel's account. I'll follow with MrBB's next
Quote:
I’d like to tell you all the story of you
While I watched my own career blossom, I got to see the mirror image of my fans blossom, and we grew together, and because of each other.
When I was young and getting discovered, I was terrified of living in my car forever, but I was also terrified by fame. My solution? Make a folk album. I thought if I could have a career like my heroes John Prine or Tom Waits, with a cool cult following, and make a good living, then that would be the thing to do. Boy did I have no idea how far that folk album would take me.
Before I got discovered, reason I loved singing in the coffee shops in San Diego was because it made me feel less alone. When I sang on that tiny stage, I could see and feel the hearts of the few people who came to see me, and I could talk about my worst fears, my worst insecurities. I could express my rage and my doubt and my unabashed hope - all because I could see in the eyes of those listening that they felt the exact same way. A bond was formed when I sang, telling secrets on myself - that was special.
As you know, I grew up singing in bars, doing cover songs. I didn’t experience what I'm talking about here. When I sang my own songs and got to tell my own truth, it was like magic - it was like being in church. It felt like being forgiven. It was like confessing my sins, and for doing so, I was rewarded with the kindness strangers – offered, I suppose, because they saw themselves in me, too. It felt like medicine at a time when I so badly needed positive reinforcement. The more I told the truth, the better I felt, the closer people felt to me, and the less I felt alone. It was just a raw human experience.
I didn’t know that before I released my first album, there fans were already using the newly formed internet to spread the word about me. I just packed up my guitar, and began doing relentless tours that I called 'residency tours' throughout the country.
My idea was to try and recreate what I had done in San Diego, by playing the same coffee shop the same night of the week for a month in a given city. So I did this circuit that was grueling. I played the C’est What? Cafe in Toronto every Monday, Boston Kendel Street Cafe every Tuesday, The Last Drop Cafe in Philadelphia every Wednesday, The XX in NYC every Thursday, the book store every Saturday in DC, and then I would drive it all over again and do it every week for a month. I would then move to another region like the northwest, and do it all over again.
I only sang in front of a few folks, but I was able to form a small loyal following, provided they didn’t walk out during “Pieces Of You” (the most misunderstood, yet plainly obvious song I've ever written). The more I toured the more industry insiders told me I would never make it, I’d never get played on the radio, Nirvana and Sound Garden were God, and it wasn’t cool to be sensitive and care. I guess that’s when the fight came out in me. I had lived through hell, and I still found it in my heart to care and to have hope because the most genuinely desperate must. It’s the spoiled slackers, in my view, who could cling to their cool veils of cynicism, because they could afford to be cynical with their comfortable lives. I was on the edge of the abyss, and staring into it, I knew the only thing that would keep me from falling in and being lost forever was if I dared to have faith. I fought like hell for the right to hope.
The world was full of grunge bands and angst on TV and in the movies, but what I saw in front of me touring was different. I saw something different in the faces of those who I sang for. The tide felt like it was going to change, and the press just didn’t know it yet. People didn’t want to hurt- they wanted to feel better, just like I did. And just like me they were willing to fight for it. I began to feel like maybe I could beat the odds. Maybe, just maybe, I could stick my foot in the door of the male dominated music business, because I felt like I had a small but fierce army that was marching with me.
I began to hand out flyers after I sang, with local radio stations numbers on them, and I asked people to call and request me. I sang in college campuses everywhere I went, and passed out my flyers, and because of the web, I was aware that I was not alone. There were folks out there that cared about my music and about me, a complete stranger, and they were trying to help me. I began to call them my Every Day Angels and amazingly we were a force to be reckoned with.
As my career began to break, I became a bit scared. Fame really scared me because I had always been so introverted, and I was afraid I was creating a monster I may not be able to control. The media scared me, and I wasn’t sure how to interact with them. But my online fan community always let me be myself, and I tried to continue to tell the truth in my writing, and I began to feel I could have a two way conversation with fans as I grew bigger.
I realized IDOLOTRY is what scared me about fame, because it was jut that, an idle worship. It does not help anyone grow- the worshiped become frozen in a mythological caricature that was immovable, (and usually resulted in falling off said pedestal) and being a sycophant or worshipper of said idol offered no self-examination or self empowerment. I wanted a different relationship with my fans- one that empowered fans- one that let me off the hook! I wanted to be human and grow and make mistakes and be imperfect, and I wanted fans to rely and look to each other for answers to their hopes and prayers- not to me.
As I became successful, I was receiving gifts and so much love, and I felt like my life had turned around. I mean my life REALLY turned around! My fans and me really pulled it off, and I was safe, and comfortable, and I was being showered in gifts from fans. But I felt guilty, because I didn’t need gifts as much as other people in the world that I knew. I decided to ask my EDAs to take whatever they wanted to send me for my birthday, and instead give to someone who needed it. And in typical fashion, they went above and beyond by organizing the most amazing acts of kindness. Funds were raised to help a local San Diegan get a handy cap vehicle that was sorely needed. On my birthday I received a bound folder of page after page, documenting community service and charitable acts committed by my fans. It was the best present ever.
I even had an EDA who happened to be a lawyer help me with a lawsuit I was facing, when I desperately needed the help. He worked tirelessly in a time that was really hard for me. It was very touching.
Life being life, it never stays the same, and soon I experienced some of my hardest years around 2003 - and all I have ever been able to say about it was what I expressed in GOODBYE ALICE IN WONDERLAND. I lost faith for a while, and as my world seemed to shatter, I had to go back inside myself and try to challenge myself once again to find a way not to become cynical or bitter. I wanted to be stronger, not broken by what life had dealt me, but it took me a while to find my way out of a dark hole. I didn’t trust anyone, and while I still made music (because it still is what heals me) , I lost touch for a while with everyone but Ty as I tried to put myself back together again, and I'm glad to report, I feel good. I am not broken. We only are if we let ourselves be.
In just a few short years the current age of the internet is so exciting, as I feel I am able to return to a even more personal relationship with my fans, in an even more direct way.
There are many new fans that I have, and I want to welcome them. Some of you are country, some of you are pop and some of you are rock, with a secret soft spot for whatever it is I am - but all of you must love lyrics, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
I want to introduce all my new fans to the best fan community I have ever heard about- and I want to invite you all to become EDAs.
I have created a Twitter account for you, and as you join it, you will be added to the list. Click HERE to follow.
I will commit to figuring out a date to do another free fan concert for you all, if you want to organize it yourselves again, (you guys want to pick a name?) We will work it around my schedule like last time of course, and I look forward to figuring out a good venue where and when that it can happen!
Lastly, as EDAs, I would like to share with you what I would like our call to arms to be:
Be kind to each other.
We have a rare community that is truly diverse - respect everyone's
differences here. No matter the political, religious or social
orientation, we are all the same and trying to figure life out.
Build each other up, don’t tear each other down.
This is a hard enough world; we can all use a place that’s positive.
Dare to be honest with each other; you will be rewarded for it.
Tell secrets on yourselves, you will feel much better.
Be miracles for each other.
This community is what you make of it. The charitable acts, and the course of the EDAs is up to you - it's yours. Some of you need jobs, while others may know someone who needs an employee. Some of you create artwork, while some of you may need a logo for your own business. Some of you need medical advice; some of you are doctors. And some of you need someone just to listen. Pay attention to each other, and if you run across something that’s easy to give, give it. We are all connected on this crazy web, and we can really take advantage of it. I can personally attest to the fact that profound change happens in small ways - and what you can do with your own hands is POWERFUL.
I look forward to more years of making more music. I really feel my best creative years are ahead of me, and with you guys backing me up, I feel confident there will always be a place for me.
Finally, below is some more in-depth info about the EDAs that Alan wrote, please feel free to read it if you want. Its really cool.
Lastly, I want to thank each of you, and especially my original EDAs for continuing to be a miracle in my life. I don’t think any of you will ever know how my life has changed because of you. I was no one special - just a scruffy kid that got turned away from a million places. You all made me feel special. It gave me courage and I began to dare to learn to shine my little light while I sang and when I wrote. I am no different than each of you. It sounds corny, but it's true - we all just need to dare to shine.
xxj
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